The recurring rings of her cellphone won't stop.. "Mom" was the contact name that flashed on the screen. Actually it was "St. MOM". 'St' wasn't an abbreviation of saint or Satan.. It just meant 'step'.. All she had to do was switch off her phone which she wasn't ready to do... The phone stopped ringing, increasing the missed call stack. Theresia wasn't miles away or lost in the labyrinth.. she just locked herself in her room. The incessant knocks on the door and the constant telephone rings only made her more upset.. Taking deep breath she said to herself "Don't panic, don't freak out, this was meant to happen.. relax.. relax.. fucking relax Tessa relax". She needed something to take the edge off. Dealing with pain with pain was her philosophy. There was nobody to stop her.. it was just her, darkness and solitude. It was time now..
The anger grew inside her like it's gonna erupt with a blast. She stood there looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her sunken eyes and unhealthy skin was evidence of sleeplessness. Sleep only remained as a word to her. Nights were either torture or just numb.. She hated her step mom though she was loving to her. Perhaps she didn't like her father marrying another woman..
With nobody but her reflection in the room she started to cry, cry in her loudest voice.. The ones outside the door panicked and the knocking now became banging. With her sharp nails she dug deep into her cheeks and cried even louder. Blood stained tears rolled over her cheeks.. " Why!!!!! Why!!!!! Why!!!!. Is this why I'm still alive. " Her voice at her highest.. droplets of blood trickled on her shirt, leaving an unwashable stain, so was her pain.. Her phone rang again.. But it wasn't the ones on the other side of the door now.. The ringtone was enuf for her to telling who it was..
The phone call not only silenced her cry, it almost stopped her heart.. She had saved the contact as "honey". The custom set ringtone did its justice. She couldn't take the tornado of thoughts. Her hands reached for the phone. Theresia wasn't ready to talk, not now... The phone kept ringing and left unanswered. Her dad and step mom stopped knocking the door, letting time to heal or seal her wounds. But will time serve the purpose? Theresia walked to the door and opened it. Nobody talked to her, she didn't either.. The battle of thoughts was just too much to take.. The phone started ringing again and it was the same person... this time she picked the call
"Listen, we need to talk Joe"
Theresia disconnected the call. Being a doctor she was well aware what's going on inside her body.She wasn't anywhere near healthy.. Her mistakes now appear as symptoms. Karma is like the candy crush requests, it comes back at u no matter wat.. Theresia wasn't ready to share anything with her parents. She despised her step mom and hated her father for marrying her.. Her biological mother, she never remembers her. The memory of her just visible on the photographs. Nobody talks abt her mother.. waiting for Joe's arrival Theresia sat there silent. She closed her eyes, trying to get some sleep. Her dad was worried for her. Seeing his daughter like this was something he wasn't ready for. He took her phone that she held in her hands. Before placing it on the table he opened it. The screen pattern wasn't a Swiss secret. The unanswered call notification peaked. While he opened the call log, the contact honey kept repeating every 10 seconds. Every call was an outgoing call. He tried making a call, the call didn't connect but that didn't surprise him, the number that appeared on the screen did..
%@%#-:#!#!#(#!#);#)#!##)
it was all gibberish. It was not a phone number at all.
Theresia was waiting anxiously while her father was in a state of shock.. He very well knew the technology of abstraction and privacy but this was nothing closer to it. Who is this 'honey' ? Or why is there gibberish in place of the phone number.. He was afraid to talk to her and at the same time very much concerned abt her.. Her temper was volatile.. As she opened her eyes from the power nap,she went in to get a pill of diazepam(anti anxiety drug). But nothing could control her now. Her questions needed answers. She isn't wat she used to be. The stuff that happened only during her periods were now a regular thing. Constant mood swings, highly irritable and very harsh and cold.. To her Joe was responsible for all this, Her 'honey'.. Talking to him now was her only agenda. She took her phone and called her honey again. Instead of disconnecting the call, she started talking. "This number is invalid" was the computer generated reply but she continued the conversation..
"Wats taking u so long. I've been waiting for u for hours honey. Are u still mad at me" she said
"No I'm not sweetheart. Why will I be mad. Its not the first time we've fought. Listen.. I Love You "
She continued talking. With smiles and cute blushes..the wounds on her cheeks was still fresh. Her face was moist with blood and tears but she never cared. Pain wasn't new to her.. "this number is not valid" message was doing its loop but she didn't hear that. She heard what she wanted to hear.
Theresia was talking but there was no one to listen.. Her father perplexed and worried at the same time.. He was waiting for her to finish her phone call. To confront her and find out wats really happening.
Theresia's love was real, but the person wasn't. Her feelings were real but there were none to receive. She was crazy, but she was in love.. There wasn't a person named Joe or honey or watever.. But her impending passion was as legit as stars of the sky. Theresia is now in her altered state. A state where she's in love with joe and they are gonna be together forever and beyond. The crazy one has real love for an unreal person. An illusion, a mirage.. Being a doctor herself she was quite aware of her situation;Schizoaffective disorder. Her doctor pride kept her from accepting she was mentally ill. Theresia self prescribed a few antipsychotics, antidepressants and mood stabilizers and thought she could handle this, but it was too late... The episodes of her psychotic outbreaks and her delusional romantic telephonic rendezvous. Her hallucinations were now getting out of control and her self prescribed pills were obsolete now.
She kept talking on the phone while her father and step mom watched. Theresia paused for a moment, talked nothing but was just gazing blankly at nothing.. All of a sudden she threw her phone with one flow and started running towards the living room balcony. "Joe!!! Wait for me!! Hey!! Wait!! "
Before anyone could stop her she jumped..
